Momma is Typing. Typing Typing Typing Very Fast. Momma told me that I have to Be Quiet and Be Very Good because Right This Minute She Is Wondering What Part Of Her Senseless Mind Told Her That She Needed A Puppy. And Momma also wants to know how Such a Smart Puppy cannot Learn to Be Quiet At Night except if there is Really Something To Bark At.
Last night after Dinner me and Momma went for a Walk up The Road and we saw Miss Judy and Bella. I played with Bella and Momma talked to Miss Judy and then I did What I Had To Do and we came back In The House and then Daddy and I played with the Blue Ball in the TV Room. Daddy threw the Blue Ball and I ran to Get It and I Brought It Back to Daddy and we Played That Game Over and Over and Over until Momma said that my Puppy Tongue was Hanging Out and I looked like a Hobo Puppy instead of a Savannah Girl. But Daddy said We're Having Fun And Just Look How Happy Savannah Is so we kept playing with the Blue Ball until Daddy said he was Tired and I was really Tired too but I didn't want to Stop Playing because the other day Momma told me to Make Friends With Daddy Make Friends With Daddy.
Momma put my Toys back into my Toy Basket and Daddy put my Leash on me and took me Outside and we Walked Around the Gazebo and Momma was standing in the Driveway holding the Flashlight and looking for Armadillos and Skunks and Raccoons and Possums and Snakes and Coyotes and Heaven Only Knows What Else Is Out Here After Dark.
When we got back Inside The House Daddy went Upstairs and Momma said Goodnight Sweet Pea and put that Cat in his Room. I was Comfortable and Almost Sleeping and all stretched out on the Rug in the Breakfast Room and then Momma tricked me with a Beef Chewy and got me to Walk Into The Crate and the Next Thing I Knew she Shut The Door and said Goodnight Savannah and then Momma went Upstairs.
Well who wouldn't Start Barking after that? Me and my Blue Monkey were all alone in that Crate and the Crate had been Moved from the Kitchen to the Breakfast Room while I Wasn't Looking and did Momma ask Savannah if the Crate needed to be Moved in the First Place? So I Barked. And Barked. And Barked.
I heard Momma tell Daddy That Puppy Can Bark All She Wants But I'm Not Going Back Downstairs. So I Barked Again. And Again. And Again. And Momma Came Back Downstairs and said Savannah Savannah Savannah You Have Got To Go To Sleep And If You Keep Barking For Nothing Then We're Not Going To Believe You When You Bark For Something.
Well I WAS Barking For Something. I was Barking because I wanted to Play Blue Ball with Daddy because that was Lots Of Fun and Daddy thought I was a Smart Puppy because no one had to Teach Me To Bring The Ball Back after he threw it and I was Barking because Sweet Pea was in his Room and Momma and Daddy were Upstairs and all that was left was Savannah and The Blue Monkey in the Crate which was in The Wrong Corner Of The Wrong Room.
But Momma didn't Understand and went Back Upstairs and she wasn't Smiling and so I Barked. And Barked More. And then I heard Momma at the Top Of The Stairs and next thing I knew Momma yelled out !!!SAVAAAAANNAH!!! in a Strange Loud Voice that sounded more like a Hobo Momma than a Momma Girl and that's when I Stopped Barking because I thought maybe Momma's Senseless Mind was telling her that she Didn't Need A Puppy after all.
Three Hours Later the Train went by and I knew that I should Bark so Everyone Would Know There Was A Train On The Back Porch. Momma came Downstairs and Turned On The Porch Lights and Looked Out The Windows but I don't think she saw the Train. Momma said Savannah Savannah Savannah With All That Barking You Must Have To Pee and then Momma put my Leash on me and we went Outside and instead of Doing What I Needed To Do in the Grass I just listened to the Train and I heard the Coyotes howling and then Momma saw a big Armadillo and she said Oh My God That Stupid Animal Was Too Close To The Porch and Thank Goodness it Wasn't Something Worse.
So I watched the Armadillo and still didn't Do What I Needed To Do and we came Back Into The House and Momma said that she needed to Have Her Head Examined for getting a Puppy who Didn't Know that Night Means Sleep and Day Means Play and I should be Smart Enough To Know The Difference Because I Seem To Be Smart About Everything Else.
Then Momma sat down to Type Type Type Type and I played with my Green Chicken and Momma said Whoever Made That Toy Didn't Have A Brain In His Head because the Squeak sounded like a Duck not a Chicken and Who In Their Right Mind makes a Green Chicken anyway. So I picked up my Blue Monkey and put it on Momma's Lap and she looked at me with what Daddy calls That Look and then she started to Type Type Type Type Type some more.
Momma went back Upstairs and didn't put me In The Crate because I was Quiet and Almost Sleeping on the Rug in the Breakfast Room. I heard her Go Upstairs and I heard Daddy saying If That Dog Barks Again We Have To Just Let Her Bark Till She Barks Herself Out. I didn't know who That Dog was so I Barked Just One Time to let everyone know that Savannah Was In The Kitchen and Not In The Crate. Well Momma came flying down the Stairs and Took Hold of My Collar with One Hand and she Took Hold of my Blue Monkey with the Other Hand and put Us Both in my Crate and Slammed That Door and Locked It Tight and didn't even say Goodnight Savannah and then Momma went Upstairs without even Looking Back and she didn't even Stop to Type Type Type Type.
So I waited a Few Minutes. And then I Barked. And Barked. And then I Roared. Momma didn't Come Flying Down The Stairs and I got Tired of Barking so I put my head on the Blue Monkey and Went To Sleep and the Next Thing I Knew It Was Morning. So then I Barked because I was Thirsty from All The Barking I did when it was Dark.
Momma came Downstairs and didn't say Good Morning Savannah How Is My Puppy Today but I Wagged My Tail anyway and Looked At Momma with one of my Stinking Cute Puppy Smiles and Momma took me Outside In The Grass to Hurry Up And Pee. Then we came back inside so Momma could Feed The Cats and then Momma took me Back Outside for a Real Walk so I could Do What I Needed To Do and Momma was Wearing Sunglasses and Not Smiling. Momma Walked me Up And Down The Road and then we came back In The House and Momma told me that I have to Remember that I am One Lucky Puppy and I should Behave Myself because there are Puppies In This World who don't have Toys and a Crate and a Bed and Food and if it wasn't for Daddy and Momma I would still be in that Outside Kennel back in Houston with Puppy #1 instead of out here in this Country Bubble where Trains and Coyotes make Noise in the Middle of The Night and wake up Puppies who Should Be Sleeping If They Know Any Better.
I looked at Momma and thought that I have Almost Forgotten about Puppy #1 and here in Momma and Daddy's House Savannah is now Puppy #1 and Sweet Pea is now Puppy #2 even though he's a Cat and he was Here First. And maybe Momma could Send My Crate to one of those Other Puppies In This World who Don't Have a Crate and while she's at it maybe she could send them the Green Chicken that Sounds Like A Duck because every time I play with that Green Chicken Momma says Oh No Savannah Not That One Again.
Momma is still Typing Typing Typing Typing. And I am Almost Sleeping on the Rug in the Breakfast Room. Daddy is still Upstairs and Momma says he is Tired. Sweet Pea is sitting by the Window and Watching the Birds. My Blue Monkey is under my Puppy Head and the Green Chicken is in the Toy Basket and my Crate is still in the Wrong Corner of the Wrong Room.
Momma is still Typing Typing Typing but now Momma is Smiling and she was Watching me Almost Sleeping and Momma said Good Morning Savannah We Have To Remember That You Are Still A Puppy. And then Momma said that Train Engineers who Blow That Whistle in the Middle of the Night should be Shot At Sunrise. Momma stopped Typing Typing then and before she walked out of the Breakfast Room she said Savannah We Need to Get Rid Of That Green Chicken.
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