Momma took me for a Ride In The Car this morning. I thought maybe we were Going To The Dog Park but we just went to the Post Office. Momma says I Will Be Right Back Savannah So You Be Very Good. Well what does she Expect me to be when I'm sitting in the Back Seat of the Car and there's Nothing To Do but Look Out Of The Window at the Other People who go to the Post Office. When Momma comes back to the Car she always says Good Girl Savannah Good Girl but I don't get a Treat for that like I do At Home. Maybe someone should tell Momma that it Might Be A Good Idea to keep Treats In The Car.
My Daddy has been Talking Me For Walks in the Mornings now. He says that We Both Need The Exercise and I don't know what Exercise means but Off We Go sometimes Even Before Momma Comes Downstairs. Daddy has All These Rules when he takes me Out. Daddy won't let me Walk Out Of The Door Until He Goes Out First. Daddy read that In A Book and he Told Momma that it's The Right Way To Walk A Dog. Well I guess Momma didn't Read That Book because she Doesn't Care who walks out First as long as we both Get Out There.
When I'm walking On The Road with Daddy I have to stay Right Next To Him or Right Behind Him. I guess he read that Rule in the Same Book because he told Momma it was The Right Way To Walk A Dog. But Momma told Daddy that he has Too Many Rules and That's Why I don't Poop when Daddy walks me because I'm Too Busy Following All Those Rules and What Puppy Can Possibly Find A Place To Poop that way.
So I just let Daddy walk me Up And Down The Road and if he Gives Me Enough Leash then I may be able to Poop but that Doesn't Usually Happen and Daddy brings me Back Home and makes me Sit And Stay before he even Opens The Back Door and then he tells Momma Savannah Peed But She Didn't Poop and I look at Momma and try to tell her that Daddy has Too Many Rules For Walking And Not Enough Rules For Pooping and then Momma puts her Coat on and Off We Go and then I Poop Real Fast because By That Time I Really Have To Go No Matter What The Rules Are.
Momma tells me to Be Patient with Daddy because He's Reading All The Dog Books so he Doesn't Make Any Mistakes. I tried to tell Momma that someone needs to Make Daddy Sit And Stay before he Walks Into His Own Bathroom and let him see that Sometimes you just have to Throw The Rules Out The Window.
Daddy told Momma tonight that I'm getting Too Much People Food and maybe That's Why the Dog Food stays in the Bowl all day long. Daddy thinks I'm leaving my Dog Food for Last so I can fill up on all The Good Stuff first. I sat there Right In Front of Daddy and tried to tell him that he Needs To Taste That Dog Food and then he'd know why I like People Food much better. Even the cat Sweet Pea gets Food with Gravy on it and no one is even putting One Drop of Gravy on my Dog Food. Momma says my Food is Healthy and Expensive and Good For Puppies and I need to Eat It All Up. I tried to tell Momma that I would rather have some food that's Unhealthy and Cheap and it would Probably Taste Better than the Stuff That's Good For Puppies. And how would Momma know what's Good For Puppies anyway? I don't think she was ever a Puppy in her Whole Life.
Sometimes it's Not Easy being a Puppy in this house. My Daddy is Reading Books Filled With Rules For Puppies and my Momma is Buying Healthy and Expensive Dog Food that gets Delivered by a Man in a Big Brown Truck and Sweet Pea gets Gravy on his Food and is allowed to Sit On Momma's Lap when she's Reading. Momma won't let me Lick Her Face because she says I pick up Too Many Pebbles and Too Much Grass and I drink Too Much Water from the Pool at the Dog Park but Daddy lets me Lick His Face all the time so I guess there's No Rule for that in his Book.
Well Momma isn't Reading Books filled with Rules for Puppies and I get to Go To The Dog Park and To The Post Office and Sweet Pea has to Stay Home and sometimes Momma mixes People Food in with my Dog Food so I guess it's Not So Bad Here After All.
No comments:
Post a Comment